“We are more exhausted far more from the tension of internal disharmony – not doing what we know we should – than from hard, unremitting work. And naturally, the very effort to escape such tension – pleasure seeking, self-indulgence, escapism – produces more tension.
And unless we achieve such unity with self, we will continue to repent of the same sins again and again but not develop the capacity to repent of our sinning.”
Take time to think about the sins you continually commit and need to constantly repent of. What are they and what are the root causes?
One habit that keep many of us repenting of our sins but not our sinning is being active in Church but not the Gospel. We essentially play church (perception) instead of purposely coming unto Christ which leaves us without the fundamental core within us that unifies and integrates our spiritual, intellectual, social, and working lives. We are confused,
“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8
We then begin to weaken in our faith, wonder if the whole “church” thing is working, have a hard time telling the difference between competing voices (God, the world, ours) lack personal responsibility and repeat the problems that plaque us. To handle such tension and internal confusion we begin to rationalize, mentally compartmentalize more and explain the challenge away in worldly ways instead of the by the word of the Lord.
Grasping and holding the iron rod (scriptures) is the main discipline that will eventually bring the peace, unity, integrity and repentance of sinning into your life. “It will unravel confusion and replace the exhausting kind of tension from repeatedly sinning with a healthy tension in the form of worthy goals to strive for,” and See Lehi’s dream in 1 Nephi 8 and 11. The Divine Center, Stephen Covey, pg. 186
You’ll begin to overcome the natural man, obtain “faith unto repentance” of your sinning and rejoice you’re not Sisyphus.